“Don’t you taste even a morsel of that!” The grey, old tyrant hissed through his teeth. 

He was talking about his “Salmon of Knowledge”, which he'd been chasing for twenty years. It was claimed the first to taste it would be made the wisest of all men.  After a lifetime of trying, he finally caught it, but the struggle of the catch drained him and he demanded you to cook it for him.  Half way through your pan-frying you scald your thumb, immediately sucking it to alleviate the pain.  

What happened next is hard to explain. Like Neo in the Matrix you start to receive a heavy upload.  A Wetransfer size one.  Sure enough, all of the world's data begins to food into your head.  Convulsing, you fall to the floor alarming the old man.

‘Noooo, you sneaky little devil!  You’ve tasted my Salmon!!’

Slowly you get to your feet, eyes twitching - “World’s finest black fabric?," you mumble, "Vintage Wool, woven by Dormeuil in Yorkshire, hardy and textured.'  Our suit of the same fabric is best worn with a Green Knitted Wool Tie in the chillier months.  Deep like the oblivion you soon slip into.